There are things in life that we share. As a lifestyle blogger I’ve tried to share a lot of myself in a hopes to at a bare minimum give an insight into other another person's life but with the hope that by sharing my life story, it will provide solidarity to those who might be going through similar life experiences, big or small, exciting or scary, and be comforted that we are not alone in this.


Right now I’m sitting on a train having not written a blog post in weeks. There’s been a lot I’ve wanted to talk about, but there’s also been a millions reason why I felt I couldn’t. Because I didn’t want to feel embarrassed, because I felt shame that other people will be going through so much worse, through fear of back lash that I can’t take it back, but probably most likely, and most importantly, because if I wrote it down and shared it with the world it made it real, and I just wanted to hide and pretend that everything is OK.

I feel like a hypocrite. I try to encourage others to believe in themselves and say with confidence;

“It’s OK that I’m not OK”

But here I am having been holding up appearances for a very long time, because the truth is I’m really not OK. I’ve not been OK for a long time and it’s really hard to face the reasons why.

In my bag hiding from any looking eyes is a book I just bought to try and help myself through this time in my life, and hopefully find the courage to be strong. That book is called “Why does he do that? Inside the minds of angry and controlling men” by Lundy Bancroft. I’ve leave a link below for anyone also in need of support and guidance right now.


I’m on my way back to my hometown for a few days of respite and hopefully the fresh air and peace away from London will give me some comfort and strength. It’s hard to describe how that last year of my life has been, and it’s something I've felt too humiliated to talk about. I am lucky to have some very wonderful friends and family who I know will always (and do) support me and want to protect me, but the shame I’m experiencing has isolated me so much, I feel very very alone at the moment.

I may take this post down at some point, and I really hope that in the near future I can write more on this topic with a positive outcome having found my inner confidence again. I want to be able to share a story of overcoming struggle so that my experience can help others in similar situations know that they can too save themselves.

For now I am doing my best to know that it’s OK not to be OK. I am a kind and loving person, who doesn’t deserve to be treated any other way, and I have a right to be happy. If you don’t hear from me soon don’t worry. I’m doing my best. I’ll be back when I feel ready and thank you to anyone who has a kind thought for me. It’s greatly appreciated.


If I do post anything, and it seems too outwardly positive I hope that you won’t think me false. I’m just doing everything I can to carry on a normal life and blogging is therapeutic, so if I need to exude positivity in my posts to get me through this I’m going to do that. It won’t be a lie, it’ll just be me, doing my best, to be OK.

Autumn has arrived. I've bought a new wooly coat, I've drank copious hot chocolate and I've kicked through all the leaves. It's official.


As always Summer came and went and I pretty much missed it but I'm so excited for Autumn. Other than being the most beautiful season of them all, it's also the time we snuggle up and get cosy with blankets and books and people we love. It's just my absolute favourite season. Luckily I didn't miss everything this summer including reading the inpsiring content from my go-to-gals. These girls as forever inspiring me to try new things, go on adventures and work on myself. Whenever I'm feeling a bit down I go straight to my Advertiser spot and block out an evening to dive in and get motivated again. So here's a look at my Summer Advertisers.

Run Your Mind Free - Is a blogger with guaranteed quality content. She might not post as often but when she does I am the first one there to catch up on her lateness journey to mental health and physical fitness. Following her journey as a runner and mental health advocate, Eugenia shares her latest running challenges, races from around the UK, and tips and advice on her favourite new products, running gear and accessories. When she's not blogging though she's always busy on social media, sharing her motivational running trials and tips on Instagram (creator of #runyourmindfree), and the struggles of balancing life with a full-time Physics PhD! She's a real inspiration and not one to miss.

Lylia Rose - Is also a great inspiration. A full-time blogger and Mum. Victoria from Lylia Rose shows just how its done to live the dream. With non-stop new content, there is always something new on Lylia Rose, from Blogging advice and how-to's, to life, crafts, food and Parental tribulations she's a busy bee and the perfect blog to follow if you have ambitions of going full-time one day.

Beauty Addict - If honest lifestyle blogging is your thing, Sarah author of the Beauty Addict is your gal. This year hasn't been smooth sailing for Sarah but she's an incredibly strong woman, and despite it all is still blogging and sharing her experiences with us. Between beauty, self-care and fitness and true old fashioned personal blogging Sarah offers something for everyone. Her reviews are forever introducing me to new and exciting products from beauty, to home stylings, and he journey with SlimmingWorld is an inspiration. The wonderful thing about Sarah's writing style is that you always feel that she wrote that post just for you, something so few can really do.

Do go and check out all this months Advertisers and leave a lovely comment to brighten someones day. If you'd like to join the family and advertise with TheasThinkings in November make sure you get in touch! You can find all of my Advertiser options by visiting my Blogger Services page or by contact me directly on theasthinkings@gmail.com, or on twitter @theasthinkings

See you again next month for another look at some of the amazing bloggers in the blogosphere.
Dating apps...the dreaded online profile, worse... the swipe!

How do I sound interesting? Do I need a quirky "Look how funny, but still intellectual" tag line? Do I need me to fill out 100 difference questions to create my profile? Swipe left, Swipe right, swipe up, swipe... oh no that's Instagram, where was I...

OK let's get real I HATE the dating game.

I do. The pressure to write that lengthy profile and guess who's playing games and who's not - it's like being in the school playground all over again, and some apps... don't get me started!

I can tell you I've tried my fare share of dating apps and websites - OK wait, that makes me sound awful haha! Lets start again, I've tested out 'some' dating apps - only a little better. Lets just move on shall we?

What I've always hated about about dating apps is the random matches I seemed to get and just all the time I waste trawling through the gaff to find just that one decent match. I mean really, how do they even figure that out? "Loves to watch wrestling, hates books, doesn't believe in healthy eating, works in finance" Really?? Well first off, that's a random combination of interest but most importantly, why did that even come up in my suggestions? I love your individualism, you go Glen coco, but nope. I just don't think you're the one for me.

In the end, the whole process becomes just really uncomfortable and I give up pretty quick.

When I first moved to London though I confess I did succumb to probably the most well known app on the market - Tinder - MY GOD, what was i thinking? If I thought dating apps I'd tried in the past were bad, Tinder takes the prize for terrible.

I would just match with the worst sorts of people, and all the rumours and bad rep it gets, I can tell you from experience are well deserved. Of every dating app I've tried Tinder takes the ticket for worst app on the market.

I've got a whole bunch of horror and hilarious stories I'd love to tell so let me know in the comments if you'd like to hear them but I don't want to give Tinder to much talk today because what I really want to talk about is finally finding an app I can learn to love and find the perfect pear*.

I swear I never thought it would happen, every app these days is just a copy of the last with a different colour scheme,  but really I finally found one worth our attention:

Pear


Did you ever think a match-making algorithm could win a Nobel-Prize? I know right? Me neither - but seriously one did, and it promises to revolutionise the dating scene.

Developed by mathematicians Gale and Shapely to solve the "stable marriage problem" the algorithm creates mathematically perfect pears, from a ranking comparison system.

I mean it's like Science meets Cilla Black, what's no to love?

I decided to find out a bit more about this Pear matching service and see if it would work for me and give it that Blind date test run.

Unlike what we're now used to, Pear has abandoned the painful swipe system and opted for a comparison matching service that finally connect you with people just like you, and the more you compare the more it learns about what you like and what you don't so your matches will get better and better with time.

Finally no more questionnaires, no endless random matches, less swiping and just more fun dating.


I've had the new app for just three days and I'm already really enjoying it. It was so super easy to set up, it took me literally less than a minute to pop up some half decent photos and a cute little bio, and get to comparisons, and I really do think the more I compare the more profiles are coming up that feel are a great match for me.

I haven't reached out to anyone yet but I'm looking forward to testing the app out in full over the next few days and would love if you tested it with me so we can share stories - and gossip!

The app's totally free so I'll leave a link for Android and Apple below. Let me know in the comments if you try it out and what you think of your matches! Happy dating guys, let's hope we all find out Perfect pair and finally rid ourselves of all that dreaded swiping!



What have been your best and worst dating app stories? Let me know in the comments!!

Thea x
The app uses an algorithm developed by mathematicians G
ale and Shapely to solve
the
stable marriage problem
, which was awarded the Nobel Prize in Economics in 201
2

*This is not a sponsored post. Links in the article are affiliate links but I have been compensated in no way for producing this post. All comments are based on my honest opinion and experience using Pear.
Work/Life balance is something we all strive to achieve but come on hands up, how many of us are really doing it?

I know I don't always have it right, and it really impacts on my quality of life, not just in my personal endeavours but in how much I enjoy my job too and want to get out of bed in the morning.


Quick interlude - don't run away this isn't a sulky post I swear just hold on in there OK? OK. So...

Recently I had a real doozy of a slump. I'm talking a - are things ever going to get better should I just quit it all and give up on everything slump - like a said a real doozy - but also like i said not sulking promise. (I might have been sulking a little bit but it was a doozy OK?! No sulking anymore...anyway back to the story. Last sidetrack I swear).

For a good while I didn't think I was going to get out of it, everything was taking a hit. I wasn't eating right, no sleep ever seemed like enough sleep, I was beginning to be late for work all the time, and really hating my job, and when I came home I'd lost all motivation and energy to do anything I love - it was all going down hill.

Ending the cycle just had to happen, I want to feel good about life again so I tried and tested a few things, some more deliberate than others and finally came up with 5 things that have really worked for me.

Why'd it take so long (and it took a looooong time)? Well truth is there's plenty of advice out there - give it a quick google. You'll probably find a good 20+ articles all spewing out the same old tips and tricks, but they just weren't working for me and some were making things worse. I just couldn't figure it out! Was this now the way of things? If it was I tell you I was going to have to quit something - and the thing I was looking at quitting was the one I need to fund all the others so I was kind of at a critical point.

There had to be a reason, there had to be another way to get out of my funk. 

Well there was, and the core reason for why everything else wasn't helping me was one very important part of who I am - I'm an introvert!

If I do a quick search now here are the top tips that just keep coming up:

  • Go socialise, surround yourself with people
  • Treat yourself, go get some retail therapy
  • Do something you love
  • Think positive, remind yourself of everything good in your life
  • Surround yourself with goals

OK before we go anywhere lets just be honest here and say - these things all sound great right? Of course they do, they are full of positivity so you can see why they're always recommended, and at some point all of them can add to boosting your spirits but as an introvert I see all of these things as being way down the line because they all avoid one very important fact - THE SLUMP!

If you're an introvert like me, or maybe your just in a slump chances are you feel exhausted and Socialising saps so much of what little energy you have left it only makes things work.
Treats probably don't feel enjoyable, neither do the things you love, positive thoughts feel fake and achieving goals probably just feels like it's too much too handle.

So my advice? STOP.

No really. Just stop for a second. It can seem like life won't let you but trust me, anything you don't do today is still guna be there tomorrow, and if it's not, it wasn't that important anyway.

So if you're an Introvert too, or maybe you're just looking for some fresh ideas here's my:

Top 5 ways to get out of your work life slump - the Introvert Guide

  1. Find a quiet place free of clutter. Sometimes it can all seem like there's too much noise in your head and your environment isn't helping. Find a place to hide away and let yourself escape the noise of the world for a spell. It won't stop the problems being there, but taking some time to step back from it all can change your perspective and free up some space in your mind to manage them more easily.
  2. Take a day to yourself. Don't force yourself to Socialise. Having time on your own will re-charge your batteries making socialising more of a pleasure than a chore. It's not that you don't care for or love your friends and family, but you also need to be taking care of yourself so you can show them the happiness you feel to be around them.
  3. Don't set any tasks for today. Do something that soothes you. Take a bath, read a book, listen to your favourite soothing album or your favourite TV series or Film that doesn't demand anything of you. While you let your conscious mind rest, your unconscious mind will be working through a lot of your problems in the background and you'll come out the other side feeling calmer, less troubles and more able to focus and tackle whatever's ahead of you. I actually find that spending a few hours doing this gives me a little boost to clean up the house, getting some washing done and tidy away any mess. You don't have to be 100% task free but Cleaning can be a great way to let your mind work in the background and you'll find a clutter free environment can also really help towards a clutter free mind.
  4. Keep a pen and paper handy. If you feel the urge to do something, or you can't stop fidgeting, keep a notebook handy to jot down your thoughts. Write down how your feeling. It can just be a note, as if your writing in a diary or maybe a friend, but you'll find it soothing and getting thoughts down on paper can be another great way to get them off your mind. Before the day comes to an end also take a moment to think about how tomorrow would look if you were on the way back to normality again. Don't put too much pressure on yourself, this doesn't need to be a perfect scenario. Just a single optimistic outlook for tomorrow. Mine was "Tomorrow I'm going to be awake and dress on time, and looking forward to the days conference". Telling myself, and believing that I would be happy was huge in helping me start the day with a more positive outlook in the morning.
  5. Finally, Set an alarm for tomorrow. To make the most of your recuperation time, you want to get a good nights sleep and start the day well rested. Unplug, write down your final note for the next day, set an alarm for a good time, and continue as you mean to go on. A good night sleep will be ket in getting you back on track so stick to it.
It's not always possible to take a whole day to yourself but even a short amount of time can be valuable, so if you have commitments you can't let go of, that's totally fine but don't worry it doesn't make your 'you' time impossible. Just agree to a time and stick to it. Before bed or first thing are always best (both if you can). 

The key is to let you get some calm time on your own to wind down and not put pressure on yourself to be meeting any expectations but to relax. If you have people that rely on you, or maybe you just can't get away, baths are a great way to find your alone time. Take a book, and go for a really long soak, and maybe try to get a few repeats in during the week. Every moment you get to yourself with no judgements will make the world of difference.

If you have any suggestions for finding your work life balance leave your comments in the box below and share your tips and ideas with us all. I'd love to read them!
Thanks for stopping by!



Hey guys who's been on holiday this year? I know I've not because it's been forever since my last travel diaries. So before the year is out I wanted to share my one trip I did manage to fit in I haven't gone far but you don't have to, to enjoy a peaceful and memorable short break in the British countryside, I've been to the beautiful Epping Forest.

On the weekend the weather decided to give us one last bout of sunny weather and with no other plans my and my partner jumped on the next train tent over should and sleeping bags in hand and headed off to the tiniest of camp sites set in the heart of the Epping Forest. There's something about camping I truly love. Whether it's getting back to nature, throwing away all technology for 48 hours or simply getting time to be with my thoughts Camping is one of my favourite secret escapes and something I love to remember and long to do again.


We were lucky enough to be the only campers on the pitch, and to top it off we were given a fire pit! I can't tell you how proud I was that despite the brief showers and almost an hour of persistence my tiny little fire finally lit and burned all night! I'm a true cavewoman!!!


Between cooking on my tiny stove (OK I'm not a total cavewoman!), going on adventures...ahem well lets be honest getting lost in the woods, little trips down to the local pub and songs around the campfire it has to be the best little trip I've had in a long time and was well worth an inclusion in the Travel Diaries.

I know some people keep photo albums (my boyfriend loves to keep one for all our trips), some frame them, and some even vlog the journey, but for me, these travel diaries have been my favourite way of creating memories from my travels. I have always loved to read and take inspiration from travel blogs and hope that mine can do the same.

That's why I joined Destination2's 'Creating and Catching Memories with Travel' Campaign* to remind me of my travel diary love and get me back to sharing my trips with you.


Travel diaries are a great way to document and remember the best of your trips and adventures, whether just for you, or to share with family, friends and the wider blogosphere if you've ever shared your travel blogs let me know. Leave you links and links to those you love in the comment box, and let me know - do you like to go camping? What are you favourite place to camp and camping activities?

If you'd like to see more travel diaries let me know and I'll get to planning my next Winter Sun Adventure.


*This is not a sponsored post however I have kindly been compensated with a voucher for joining this campaign.
All content © Copyright 2013 Thea's Thinkings unless stated otherwise. Powered by Blogger.