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Knowing where you're going in life can be so difficult. You're meant to make all these important life decisions at such a young age, the pressure to get it right first time can be terrifying.

Whatever stage of life you're in you will have had to face these kinds of decisions as some point so we all know it's tough.

I think for some it comes easier than others but if you're anything like me you'll toss and turn at night worrying about all the possible consequences if you take the wrong decision!

If you've read anything on my blog before, you'll know that the last year has been quite a time of decisions, discoveries, hard work and general "finding myself" - yes corny, but true.

I've spent the year completing academic achievements while trying to free up time to explore my other interests and see where I really want to try and make my career.

Though it's been a long stream of unplanned distractions it's all lead to this - decision time!

Today I was offered a teaching job in China - The academic route. I could carry on as planned and take the next step to a full life as Lecturer and Psychologist...
...but

...that would mean again putting off any exploration. No setting up shop as a crafter, no musical training, no creativity. I'd also have to put off any dreams of finding a house and all the interior design that I'm just busting to do!

It's not that I couldn't do some of those things, but I'd always hoped of really taking time of and dedicating it to them. The other main thing to consider is the salary. In China the cost of living is so much smaller, but so are the wages.
The money I could save in China would be so little that compared anything I could save here in the UK all above plans would be further postponed.
But then maybe I'll end up in Psychology for ever? So wouldn't the experience be a fantastic one?

My fascination with everything the world has to offer is both my strength and my weakness...it's decision time!
Hello!

We all have dreams don't we? Dreams of fame, or money, or security, a home, travel, family...

My dreams tend to change on a regular basis. A few always stick with me, the hopes that one day I'll produce an album, put the deposit down on my first house and the excitement of re-decorating and making it a home - my own, or the dream of a happy little family unit - maybe I'll home school, maybe I won't, maybe I can work from home, maybe I wont...

...of late all I can think about is - if only I could knit for a living! Whiling away the hours with one eye on the needles and one out the window watching the birds.
I know I would just love that job. Sure it would be time consuming, I'm sure I'd be up at all hours of the night and waking before the sun to get orders in on time, but I'd just love it!


Some of my little winter creations <3

Knitting it my stress release. When the worlds getting you down, or you've too much on your plate and just need a quick escape - knitting is that place for me. I don't know if it's the texture of the wool, getting cosy in some hidden little nook, the satisfaction of visible progress, or just the repetitive rhythmic motion of a knit two purl two knit two purl two knit two...
...that lulls me off into a land of fluffy clouds and unicorns.

While I sit in my office, watching the sun set over the Welsh coast and the minutes tick by until I can get back home to my half finished teal angora jumper, it's a rather nice dream to be having.

Do you have a dream?
xxx
Hello!

When I started blogging little did I know that it was the start to a whole new online life. Pinterest, Twitter, Instagram, bloglovin'...I find it hard to work out what I did before all this?!

There was suddenly so much going on out there I'd never know, and before I knew it I was just like any other blogger, giving regular updates on my posts, my daily activities, my latest baked masterpiece!

And soon enough I was on top of all the trends we all know so well.



An OOTD, a beautifully laid out breakfast, that on-the-run coffee stop Instagram,  the latest tips on home making, face painting, how to better yourself, your life, your job...

Everyone's sharing these little snippets of their lives, their values, their views that are just so infectious and I was one of them!

It got to a point I was actively thinking about what I could tweet next, where my next photo might come from, what positive quote I could put out into the ether just incase anyone was reading.

I have a lot of admiration for people who have such self-driven, motivated lives that they are able to fill their feeds with updates and photos that are not just for show but a real representation of who they are. They can be incredible role models.

But I realised I was forcing it too much. What were all the tweets telling the world about me?
mmm...

Nope. I didn't want to do it anymore. It's not that I won't use social media, its an amazing tool, but I don't want to feel like I'm competing. I want my social media to be a real representation of myself, and not an image of what I want the world to think I am.



I'm not sure what's going to happen to my twitter but I'm excited to embrace the real me. If for now my life is in the office, it's in the office!

Do you ever find yourself searching for something to type about?
What are your twitter experiences?

xxx

Hello!

Getting caught up in the negatives - we're human it happens!

Sometimes for some big reason or no reason at all we can get so lost in our worries, concerns and anxieties the world can seem like a dreary place. Those avoidance techniques become a daily must have.

It's really OK to have those days, and important to give our feeling recognition, but it's more important to not let them consume us.

For the last week I've definitely been in one of those moods. So much so that on reflection I can see just how much I was blowing up small things into bigger problems.



Among a number of other things, I taught a class last week. It was the first in a series and also the first time I'd ever written the curriculum myself - a lot of firsts there! = a LOT of pressure!

Well it couldn't have been worse!

It was only my first week on the job and I was already thinking of how I could get out. For the last week I've been mastering the art of procrastination and doing anything I can do avoid preparing for the next class. I'd lost all motivation and it was playing on my mind constantly.

Around came my time slot again today and I thought "How bad would it be if I just didn't show up? I'd lose my job, but I wouldn't have to run this course anymore!"

Oof nightmare city!
But I did what I was paid for and I turned up. Well it turned out they loved it. The material went down a storm, the class was all really engaged, asking questions, laughing, debating on different topics - it was awesome!

I was on such a high at the end I couldn't believe how depressed I'd been all week! It really put everything into perspective.

Sometimes we put so much pressure ourselves, we leave no room for failure.
This new teaching post is such a big deal to me, it's a huge step up from my last job that I was terrified of getting it wrong.

Everyday I would turn up in the office and think "Will this be the day they figure out I'm a phoney?"

I was letting my anxiety about teaching get the better of me, and looking back it really wasn't such a big disaster in the first lesson. All I'd done was finish early! Most students would probably be thrilled!!

So today's post is to gaining perspective and being proud of achievements. Standing up in front of that class for the first time was huge for my career, but more importantly for my confidence!
I'm pretty proud that 2015 seems to be off to a much better start than I thought. I look forward to the challenges the rest of the year has for me!

Whatever you weeks been like I hope for you too there's been something you can look back at and think "you know,  I'm actually sorta proud of that!"

xx

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