Self-reflection Sundays: It's OK not to know


Welcome to the very first edition of Self-reflection Sundays! The back story to this series would be quite a feat to include all in one edition but hopefully from week to week we will go over a little snippet of the story and discuss the progress or ambitions that have arisen since!

So to start at the beginning...

There comes a point in everyone’s life where your peers, elders maybe your neighbour, or even a stranger asks you that dreaded question “So what next?” This question can be posed in a number of ways: “So what do you do?”, “Have you decided what A-levels you're doing?”, “Have you chosen a University?”, “Have you got a job yet?”, “What do you want to do with your life?”… the choices are endless, but at some point, every one of us, will be asked the very same life determining, all defining, path deciding question “…what now?”

The troubling thing is, I don’t think many of us really know. We get by from day to day doing whatever comes up next and for some of us that can leave mean doing nothing.

We dread that ominous question which can be so frustrating, demotivating and even embarrassing to have to answer with “I don’t know”, or even worse to put forward your maybe less conventional ideas or high reaching dreams that people are so ready to put down.

Sound familiar?


I’ve lost count of the times I’ve answered this question, it’s been so many now I’ve written and rehearsed speeches to “explain” myself to minimize the disapproving thoughts from others.

Fortunately for me my recent life (ahem to be accurate the last decade!) has been filled with studies so I’ve had the opportunity to say “well I’ve still got a year to go, so I’m still figuring things out”, “I need to study at a higher level to get the career I want” (twice), and “oh well the university offered me a part-time contract so you know I’m using the rest of the time to look over my options and make sure I choose the best next move in my career”.

But really…I’m thinking…


In reality almost all of us don’t know what we want to do and the few that do are very lucky! This goes for everything not just careers, but personal choices, lifestyle choices, everything can get a battering.

For me however, it wasn’t so much a case of finding something I wanted to do, but more that I just found it so difficult to choose between all my ridiculously wide-ranging interests.

My bucket list reads more like a bucket novel with ambitions ranging from get my pilots license, to play a role in a Hollywood movie, all the way to become a well known Psychologist! Luckily there are a few smaller things on there too which I’m slowly ticking off (more on that later!), but my point is – Choosing is hard, possible one of the hardest things you, or I, or anyone will ever do, and that’s a lot of pressure.

(Just to be clear I definitely don’t have things all figured out yet!)

But the biggest revelation a person can ever have is that “you don’t have to choose!” I came to realize this only a few short months ago. It’s not an easy thing to say, I mean really? I don’t have to choose? I can do everything?

Well, the simple answer is yes.
I’m not going to say it’s all so easy because it’s not, and hopefully we will come to that in future editions to this series, but the real message I want to get across today is that yes, if you really are passionate about so many things that’s ok, and with the right mind set and some confidence in yourself you can do everything you hope to, maybe just not all at once!


Knowing this won’t make it easier when people still ask you that dreaded question, but if you stand your ground and if you truly believe it in your heart, you can do amazing things, and if you have the write people surrounding you (bloggers included!) they will support you.

It will still take hard work, commitment and probably a lot of bumps in the road but if you really want it you’ll get through it, and if it turns out not be to be quite what you imagined, well you just learnt something really important about yourself.

Over the last few months I’ve been doing just that, I’ve found out more about myself, my ambitions and my convictions than in my whole 20 cough something years of existence and over the next few weeks I’m going to share with you my story.

I’m not going to pretend everything is all sorted out, because it’s a work in progress, but I’ve started to learn the tips and tools to manage pursuing a lot of my dreams (start a blog – check!), and in turn I’ve really built my confidence, improved my overall self-esteem and more importantly I’m so much happier for it!

We’ll be covering a ton of topics on self-reflection, gaining confidence, taking risks and really figuring out what you want from life, but if there’s anything you’re really dying to cover, anything at all leave a comment in the box below and I’ll do my best to include it in the series.

I’d love to hear your dreams and ambitions too! It would be great to get a discussion going and share our experience!

I think that’s enough for this week but please make sure you come back again next Sunday, where we’ll be talk about how to focus those dreams and I’ll be giving you more of a back story on the choices I thought I had to make and how I’m now choosing to do them all!


I hope you have a relaxing Sunday, and this has left you with some food for thought. I'll speak to you all next time.
Thanks for visiting!


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