Introvert on the Internet

Classic Feet shot!
Hi my name’s Thea and I’m an Introvert.
So let’s talk.

It’s probably best we start by covering a few misconceptions about introversion. There seems to be a whole array of opinions and ideas around being an introvert and I’m not here to suggest that anyone is wrong, all I can tell you is my experience.

So I’m an introvert, but I like people. In fact I really like people. I do get social anxiety, but I’m not lacking confidence, I like to socialise, I like meeting new and interesting people, I like truly getting to know people.

Being an introvert doesn’t mean you have to dislike other people, be too nervous to talk or hate socialising. But typically is does mean that socialising is draining – absolutely exhausting in fact. If you asked me “do I prefer to spend time on my own?” I would probably say yes. That's not because I hate people though, its simply because I invest myself so much into other people that I find socialising so exhausting that if I do it too much I can’t function – at all. It literally saps my whole energy resources and leaves me in a sleepy couch potato looking coma for the rest of the day.

But I promise you I like people! In fact I often struggle with being an introvert because my social anxiety can be so extreme I very rarely see other people and can find it quite isolating at times.

You would think that the Internet would then open up all these new and exciting opportunities to socialise without the anxiety right? But you’d be wrong. In fact I find that being on the Internet can sometimes highlight how difficult the situation can be because you can literally watch and listen to every social interaction going on around you in the blogosphere without knowing how to possibly get involved.

You see my biggest struggle as an introvert, is small talk. I loathe it, and I have no idea how to do it, or even any desire to do it. Of all social interactions, small talk has to be the most draining.

See, its not that I don’t want to know about your day, or I haven’t noticed your new hair (which does look great by the way) but that I truly want to know you. I want to know how your days been, but more than that I want to know how you feel, deeply. What are your interests? What are your goals in life? What is your family like? What is your life like?!

I really honestly, openly want to know you. And so when there is so much small talk in the blogosphere (I know that some people actually don’t want to do the deep stuff) it can be very isolating to be an introvert, because how do you truly start a “real” conversation with someone you’ve actually never met?

I’ve tried to small talk on twitter, on blogs, on various social media, and I’ve spoken to some seemingly lovely bloggers out there, but almost two years down the line I’ve still not met any bloggers, or spoken to anyone that I really feel I can call a blogging friend. Not because you’re all not lovely people, I have not doubt you are, but I really just can’t small talk, and I have no clue how to get to know you otherwise.

So navigating the blogosphere as an introvert is hard, but I say this not to be rude or disagree with the blogging world. Some people like a good chit chat, some surface level small talk and I’m honestly happy for you, but I’m hoping that if I’m an introvert doing this, then there just has to be other introverts out there with the same feelings and even if you’re not an introvert, maybe you can understand and maybe one day we’ll have a real conversation.

I’d like that.

So that's me, Thea, an introvert online, ready to have that real conversation when you are.

DISCLAIMER: This post is not intended to insult of judge anyone. I only hoped to discuss the differences in people and find some commonality with other bloggers and Internet people. I hope I haven’t caused anyone any offence and I hope you have a lovely day introvert or otherwise!

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