Lately | A happy hallowed eve, Music, and self exploration

This year I didn't expect much of a Halloween celebration. I swear I'm quickly losing all my part spirit and secretly loving spinsterhood. Books, music and country walks are my current beaus!

So I didn't have many plans this weekend but I picked up a couple of pumpkins just in case the creative bug took me, and luckily for me my brother, my sister and her partner all arrived with another 8 pumpkins in tow. What I'd thought would be a cosy night with my head stuck in a book ended up a carving marathon and here's the result.

Although we didn't have a spooky evening, it was still the nicest time. Nothing beats a few hours away from technology, getting mucky with the people I love most in life.

But that's how my week ended, so lets rewind to what's really filled my week...

(I know I know this is going to start negative, but stay with me it's got a positive outcome!)
In music and drama my biggest challenge is opening up my vulnerabilities to others.

I don’t mean expressing my personality, or sharing past experiences, but vulnerability in the moment. I often find myself feeling inadequate in my ability. That I’ve not reached the potential I’m comfortable with and ready to present to an audience and this holds me back from always pursuing my interests. There doesn’t have to be anyone in the room, I can experience this even when I’m on my own and its frustratingly debilitating. I’m sure you might be able to relate (let me know in the comments if you’ve experienced this!)

So it’s something I’m really trying to work on at the moment. Being open to vulnerability is essential to improvisation and experimentation in music and drama.

With that in mind I’ve been working on pushing myself to go past that moment of discomfort and continue in a hopes to alleviate those feelings and get more creativity out of myself. I’ve been writing every day, regardless of the quality of my lyrics, and doing my best to record even as little as my ideas and thoughts I’m trying to portray with a particular song and just get used to being outside that comfort zone.

I’ve also been doing the same with drama, pushing myself to rehearse monologues and evaluate myself, my actions, and my emotions, despite how fake or uncomfortable it might make me feel at times.

To really push myself I’m also considering starting a YouTube channel just to continue that practise of pushing my boundaries and sharing my musical and drama journey. I’m not in a rush, but it would be great to hear from you. Is that something you might find interesting?

So I’m wondering  - have you’ve ever experienced this? Let me know in the comments, and if you have any tips or suggestions on how to work on creative vulnerabilities I would love to know!

That’s been my main focus this week. As always I hope you’re happy and healthy and I’ll speak to you very soon with another Lately!

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