Last Reflections

I’ve had a straight ten days with barely any online time. I’d pretend I haven’t loved it but it’s been bliss. It’s definitely reminded me to be more organised with my blogging, and to only go online with purpose.

Recovering from surgery has been more than frustrating at times but it’s also given me a very real excuse to take some time off and do quite literally nothing (of outward value anyway!) without feeling any sort of guilt.

It’s actually been so nourishing for my mind I feel much more calm going into 2016 so it would appear the surgery I was dreading actually happened to come at a rather apt moment I do think.

This year has been absolutely full of ups and downs. I’ve had a really mixed bag of experiences, some challenging (more than I would have hoped and some rewarding.

A snap shot of my year goes a little something like this (in a sort of logical order)

  1. Taking my first adult job (with an actually adult wage!)
  2. Shortly after realising that job might not be the right one for me and making the challenging decision to decline a contract renewal.
  3. Grappling with the challenges of going it alone and taking myself out there to show case my crafts, create new artistic connections and explore that side of my interests.
  4. Expanding on my creative ambitions and taking further time to focus on the things I want from life.
  5. Dealing with the mental struggle of choosing unemployment/self employment in the search for my true goals.
  6. Taking the plunge into the world of music by seeking a coach and begin a new journey into creative expression.
  7. Getting my drivers licence!
  8. Taking regular trips to and from a number of hospitals and finally getting a surgery date after 15 years of exploratory procedures and 2 years on a waiting list.
  9. Venturing to London on a solo mission to explore new opportunities and places. House sitting two cats, losing one, finding one, and loving them both equally.
  10. And finally ending the year by taking action to heal parts of my body, mind and spirit (more on that soon.)

 Yes, little did I know what a surgery date would spur, but it certainly came at the most opportune time.

My recovery period has been consistently prolonged with each specialist I’ve seen, which was at first incredibly frustrating but with time I actually now think it couldn’t have been a better time for it. I’ve had many weeks of recuperation, luckily in part with the company of the people I hold dear (and can also rely on to help me!), and all that time has given me a very valuable opportunity to do some healing, both physically and emotionally in time for the New year (with new starts and all those spring time clich├ęs).

I don’t think there’s ever any special need to keep new starts for specific points in time but there is certainly something beneficial in planning and giving yourself the opportunity to prepare (I would quote some studies but, you know, I’m having time off!)

I’m leaving behind 2015 with far less regret than I thought I might. This time has really allowed me to reflect on where I’ve been and let go of any lingering feelings I might have had, and truly open up to the possibilities the future will bring.

I go into the New Year feeling optimistic and somewhat refreshed. Every day is an improvement on the last. I look forward to continuing my road to recovery (on all levels) and forming a path for myself to drive my future in the way of my long-term goals.

I’ll add in a mandatory Christmas bit here and say as always it’s been manic! – but lovely. Having a puppy around was definitely a new experience for me (good luck getting her out of the wrapping paper!) but now onto another year.

I hope you’ve had a special winter season and you’re looking forward to the Spring with as much optimism as I am.

See you on the other side!

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